just another glory story

moved

2006-05-17T18:16:00.000+08:00

happiness over?

2006-05-16T01:06:00.000+08:00

enuf of happy posts alrd. but to avoid any form of misunderstanding, im still happy. hurhur.

just feeling rather unwell lately. system override.

horrible. tak bagus. not good.

anyway i watched the last ep of DIA, after boycotting the show for months. i guess we all cant wait for the happy ending ey? hero never dies. hardly. what good would it be if ari wibowo died hah!!!! viewers will be admitted to IMH. ok maybe just me. his lips. omfg. :)

eh baby, wru huh? i miss that guy.. all his lame jokes and crappiness. are u still in new delhi? call/sms me if u read this ok. that reminds me, i totally misplaced his office email...and my phone warranty, and i've yet to mail or even fill in my dvd player warranty. shaite. and i'm losing my voice. yay to that!

2006-05-09T00:10:00.000+08:00

that drunken kerapu face of mine my frens were talking about.

thats my bday bash bebeh. look at that ugly face.

reminds self - happy birthday syafa.

my mat.

2006-05-08T14:53:00.000+08:00

i remembered standing in front of the stove frying some chickeny things. he said something about the equation on his fridge about women equating to problems.

"kalau perempuan menyusahkan kau, kenape kau matair dengan aku bodoh?" i screeched.

he replied something which tickled my funny bone. "pasal aku sayang kau bodoh!"

hahahahaha. that bloody mat of mine.. m his minah. dammit. ya i know.
two days ago he finally got himself a new television set. with sounds coming out of it. well u might be confused but his old one was a dumb tv. literally.

i love him. still in cloud 9 express. pray hard there's no terminal.
*twirls around*

i love you people. hahahha. love makes me cranky.

family

2006-05-06T08:57:00.000+08:00

i woke up with her kissing my lips.
such beautiful face...
those eyes she gave to me,
and more of her in me.

she kisses me good morning especially when she misses me.
and she kissed me today.
i love moments like these.
if she was gone, this would be the most memorable moment i have of her left in my heart.

i never failed to tell her, when she was at work, how much i love her.
she is my best friend, my sister.
i love you. mummy please don't leave me..

visitors from beyond

2006-05-05T19:33:00.000+08:00

my grandpapa had his leg amputated.
now all the relatives have come.
r.i.p. limb.

stuck

2006-05-04T00:40:00.000+08:00

all the way i was pinching his nipples and he could still joke about the 'nutcracker' in the scary movie trilogy (saw episode). on our way home we were goofing around till the elevator and i slammed him hard at the elevator door. fucken hell! the elevator jammed and we got stuck in it! holy bercoli. thanks to the electrician he messed around with the buttons and in a matter of seconds we were on our way. i actually thought we were gonna be stuck for long.. kinda pleased about the idea but to my disappointment it was only a short while.

updated: a limited edition of the tangga porn is up. enjoy people~

pink bicycle n that belt

2006-05-03T00:51:00.000+08:00

went cycling with him. on a pink bicycle.. told ya he's gay. i sat on the back while he cycled.. so romantic. heehee. and with the music blasting from my coffin. yes, a coffin. :D you wouldn't understand unless you've seen it.

and that puki called friend. i hate it that you are so rude and disrespectful towards me and my boyfriend. you call yourself a friend? grow up la.. 17 yrs old still brainless. contradictions you have, claiming that you have self-respect. if you did you wouldn't be so rude to me when i was nice to you. no initiative to call up and inform him that you cant return his stuff. i have to be the one chasing after you since he's not the sort to speak up. damn you.

the way you carry yourself said it all. zilch, nata, sifar, zero - self respect.
i mourn your death.

my earpiece!

2006-05-02T14:59:00.000+08:00

firewall was enjoyable despite the brutal bits here and there. we both agreed to watch cuz we are fans of harrison ford. how cool is that. and he loves richard gere! argh~~~~~~~~~~~ !! my bf is so gay la.. we have the same taste in male actors. love it! walked around town.. plenty of ppl on a monday, all richer by hundreds/thousands of dollars. the govt really breastfeed singaporeans la. anyway politics aside, the day was pretty wonderful. i kept on telling jokes non-stop and to have someone appreciate it and relay back was nice. oh! i purposedly bought extra food and halfway told him i was full so ended up he was forced to finish it for me. even the nachos in the cinema..hehehe.notty me.

i think i have had my body system reformat. i've been going to bed at 12 every night, awake by 6.30 in the morning, eating less, going out more.. what happened? i lost 1.5kg this week when i never even jogged! hmm. this is so freaky. so not me. *shaky laughter*

can someone tell me what's wrong?
xoxoxoxo

:)

2006-05-02T14:30:00.000+08:00

let the pictures say it all.

motorola rokr ku

2006-04-29T16:00:00.000+08:00

nyehahahahhaha. ITS MINE!!!!! mummy rokr.

2006-04-27T11:51:00.000+08:00

mother did not release me from the tether
escape, haunting me slowly
i laid my eyes on him, bore right through his soul..
godsend.

the tether somehow broke loose.
we were in each other's arms
held so tightly, such ecstacy

so i packed my bags and said my goodbyes.
to my past, to my loss, my hurt.
took my concession and wiped away the tears.
accompanied, i embarked on my joyride.

selamat tinggal.

dead

2006-04-26T20:32:00.000+08:00

im bored.

sleep is all i've been good at.

dirty lil secret

2006-04-26T10:41:00.000+08:00

i just recalled something really embarrassing. okay to me that is... duh~

i always have been doing my laundry every since i turned 12. c rye years. i dun mind doing laundry for others eg. my useless brothers, bt i mind when others do it for me. so here's what happened. i slept over his place last week and had to wear his clothes cuz i was darn lazy to go up a few floors to my house to take extra clothes. so the next morning i washed up, went home, reminding him not to touch the dirty laundry(okay my definition of dirty is when it has been worn once and not washed yet, yes i wear my clothes only once..very particular abt that)... i called him up minutes later and he told me that he actually washed my clothes alrd and its hung up to dry. he washed my t-shirt and g-string by hand! oh my fucken godd! m so maluated! god help me. i scolded him for washing my clothes.. and uhm.. g-string. i felt so provoked. i mean like, hey you, not supposed to wash my clothes okay. and... uhm.. haiz.. imagine a guy, namely ur boyfriend, washing ur undies for you. yes i know! the thought of it itself is alrd so revolting. wat more when it actually happened. m crimsoned. it took a great amount of courage to write abt this.. cuz u dunno how maluated i am. g-strings are so private.

i swear m not gonna leave my clothes strewn around his place nemore.. but to think abt it, i left it in my bag.. graaaaahh! tat naughty naughty boyy.

drinking for 11

2006-04-26T08:26:00.000+08:00

i will just pretend that no one lurks around.

15hours of sleep was alrd a headache. i was walking in the house half asleep still and i tot i heard something. i knew he was in his room but my stomach was craving for the chicken wings my mom fried. to my disappointment, there wasnt any left and i thought i was hallucinating. i heard those tiny sobs. i walked towards the living room. i heard it again. he was crying. about what, i dunno. that was the very first time i heard him cry.. then i remembered, he was only human.

scary movie 4 review

2006-04-25T10:53:00.000+08:00

and i watched part 4 of scary movie. hilarious as usual how they made a mix of saw, the village, war of the worlds, million dollar baby and the grudge. there were some bits here and there i found rather bland but overall the saviour were the corny lines and characters they had. like for one, at the very beginning dr phil amputated the wrong foot to free himself from the chain. cindy campbell was talking jap to the ghost and i managed to spot her saying "kamikaze pangsai".. well even if it was supposed to turn out to something else like 'kamikaze bangsai', it just triggered my laughing gas. i was cursing at the damn directors. haha. ouh yea, micheal jackson is in it too. not the real one, they imitate him in war of the worlds episode asking the lil girl, "are you alone lil girl.. do you have a brother?" something like that. hahahaha. ass...

i dun think oprah wld be proud though to see herself get punched in the face so hard, the fingers twisted and broken or be fucked by tom ryan, supposedly tom cruise wannabe. lame ending.

hello tb!!

2006-04-24T03:59:00.000+08:00

went to cc open house just now.. hahaha. i wore a lame 'hello telok blangah' t-shirt. i queued over an hour for 6 satay stix. migawdd.. but luckily i had his phone on hand.. played all the games in it.. dig super marios la. heh. was a pretty boring day though.. got some free pens n magnets. saw deli and gave him my game coupons. there were bungees, some spinning thing and the bouncy bouncy balloon thingey.. nothing much to update abt la. going MOS on the 6th and devils' on 13th. mygawd... been gg clubbing often. no wonder m unnaturally high and broke. i need to crack my brain now.. a fuckin essay! damn.. coming 2 yrs of homeschooling and m mentally deprived. hahhahah.

beastiality

2006-04-21T19:54:00.000+08:00

he passed his OFT! yayness~!! and he finally discovered the real reason behind x's transfer to his workplace.. x was from canine unit but his department transferred him out. the reason being one of the higher ranking officers caught him allowing a dog grind against his crotch. fish! beastiality sial... and when they guys confronted him, he immediately admitted that he did such a thing.. gawdd. what was he thinking? he dun even have a vagina for the dog to fuck.. cuz if he did, the dog wld probly give a mind blowing cunnilingus. but be careful of the razor sharp teeth though.. and the dog pounced on him, nope not doggie style. missionary style.

i really need to get out. *goosebumps*

sexercise

2006-04-21T08:24:00.000+08:00

feeling rejuvenated and alive once again.. been joggin the past few days at 5 every morning.. *standing ovation* hehehe. i lost freaking 3kg la.......my gawdd. sex helped too. huahuahua.. i mean sex dances. weewit~ saya masih suci.. oh tidak! help~!! get away from me you freak! grrrrrrrrr.

neway thanks to the early morning jogs that i get morning kisses from my love. cloud 9 for breakfast.. hey not french kiss la! just a peck on the forehead..so sweet right? he looked so fucking smart la just now! gg to work is playing dress-up to him. i pray hard he passes his OFT today.. GOOD LUCK LOVE~ mmmuah!

need to shower now..full of sweat..gonna meet up the gang to eat at the mamak prata shop! toodles~

phunked part 2

2006-04-20T03:38:00.000+08:00

so as i was saying.. the boys somehow started to kutuk2 one another. funny la they..

tawel: (mumbles) ah muke kau macam jembatan setengah jalan tak siap..
am: eh at least jembatan setengah siap..daripada kau, peta army tak siap langsung..ade dot dot je.
tawel: .........

well tawel's face is just full of pimple scars fyi.. but he's used to insults like these..

me: wak, abang am da sampai.. bangun!
am: mane abg am...?
me: (points to tawel)... tu die abg am..
am: eh abg aku tak seburuk tong sampah nie..

am: 2 tawel:0

bummer. i was baffled cuz i tot tawel was insulted but that bloody kotek just make fartin noises with his lips..

we went home after they sober up. and reminded tawel not to fuck his mom! :D
cant wait for nurell's and cik lin's joint birthday.. MOS here i come~

reminisce

2006-04-17T16:28:00.000+08:00

came across alex's blog... hah! my gawd.. ego feeding time la. sorry pepz. this was what he wrote abt me, to avoid confusion eh..

her smile is just so damn tantalising...everytime i see her smile,i just wanna stare and stare and stare, and its like when i see her smile i dunt noe wad to say,im a sucker for really really super duper sexy sweet smiles,and damnit,her smile is all that...a drop dead smile,which makes me go crazy everytime i see it..ah..oh well...

harr...can i have u for breakfast lunch and dinner?...nyeh...are my feelings always gonna be like this?..not knowing how i really feel?..not knowing how i shld feel?...not knowing wad i shld do?...grah...i dunt noe wad to do with these feelings for her..i dont noe how i shld feel abt her..i dunt noe wad to think abt her..apart that she's oh so hott and has a nice ass...and she's got an amazing personality..basket..why are my feelings so messed up?...im juz scared...im not in the right place for me to feel..grah...crappyy...

miss that dude la..m not hot btw. just sexy. hahahhahah. ya right.. stop it syaf!

phunked up

2006-04-17T12:50:00.000+08:00

just got home ...waaa finally! bed bed bed! i need my bed! nvm slept so much alrd. so for the record i was stuck in the boyfriend's room for 24hours. hahaha. oei dun think naughty hur. was supposed to go home but my bro locked me out of the house when i reached home at 7am. so boyfriend was my last resort since he lived in the same block. heh. finally free from claustrophobia.

so anyway, went clubbing like 2 nights ago on the 15th. usual haunt.. this time there were six of us. nurell, is, tawel, bitch, me and boyfriend. nurell was late.. grrr. but neways the place was damn packed with hip hoppers tak menjadi. song was ablast. danced danced danced. there were some matrips trying to get it on with me but puhlease, my standards are not like ur drooping eyelids and boyfriend looked out for me. the guys only really got together well when they got pissed drunk. hahaha. my gawd. can u believe it?? all 3 guys down! the ladies had to take care of the men in the end. oh, the humiliation!

boyfriend: thought that the temple near Mohd Sultan was a church and wanted to raid the church. kept pestering me to give his warrant card. he noticed a fight nearby and asked for his warrant card again to "break" the fight. mygawd..i know ure a policeman la but u cant even take care of urself yet u want to stand by the law? hahaha. omg so funny.

is: thought that the temple was a surau and wanted to go inside to pray. wahahhahahhaha. the hell? he sat on a bench with no seats and fall right tru it! same goes to my bf. all saboed by me!

nurell: laughed like mad upon seeing them made a fool outta themselves and ended up crying like fuck cuz of her ex bf. "wati..kenape die buat aku mcm gini... huaahuahuahua!(terrible attempt at imitating cries)". man that reminds me of me. so i had to take care of 2 pissed drunkards. and bitch two of her own.

tawel: flat on a table nearby. damned it.. rabak sial. and fiq woke him up like some cat liddat. heh. thought the temple was a mosque. kental. and he wanted to date his mother tomorrow!! wahahaahaa. incest!!

bitch and me were the ones left standing. so all the 3 guys put together add up to a conversation like this.

tawel: eh tu masjid la... da nak subuh kene sembahyang.
is: ah surau.. masjid.. ... ... ... .... .... ... ? ... ... ...
am: tu church la.. (to me) wak, mane wallet saya, kluakan warrant card saya.. saya nak raid church tu la!
me: palehotak kau! !##@!%@ nak raid church buat ape? da biol?
am: kate soc.. soc kan bole buat raid..
me: that is a temple la...not a church
tawel: eh temple? temple mane bole masuk sembahyang..
is: boleh masuk la.. tapi tak bole sembahyang.
am: wak, amek phone kite.. call ops room. ckp dgn diorang so and so ade gaduh.. pastu kite raid church
me: .....
am: mane hp saya..
me: ok ok da call da. they on the way.
am: siape yg angkat telephone?
me: hmm.. cldn quite catch his name though..
tawel: (pointed to some tree) eh.. aku nak makan la.. nasi goreng tu kat sana.. nasi goreng panggil aku.
me: *giggles*
nurell to is: papao. papao. papao.
is: ape sial kepal..
tawel: eh kepal sedare aku sial! maseh tu aku nampak die tgh makan prata. aku sedara dgn die since last year.. wtf??? tikus die besar sial. lets all meet him.
am: eh kepal sedare kau?? yang kat internet tu? fyi my bf doesnt surf net for so long alrd.
tawel: a'ah sial.

so we proceeded to the coffeeshop near ms to plan where to go...

am: (bent to puke but din puke)
is: eh die nak muntah la sabar la..
am: eh korang nak naik teksi ade duit tak? kalau takde mari sini potong seluar aku bayar apek teksi. his boxers had dollar sign printed on it. hahaha.
me: hahaha. awak jgn mepek la..
is: eh.. wahhh.. duit.. $$$
am: eh battery belt aku da low.. balek kene charge. he was wearing this belt like the one aznil wore on apm..nice..
me: ????? (to myself) die ingat tu hp per bole charge..
am: eh aku chelen kau.. eh chelen plak.. i mean challenge! kau .. dari sini sampai kerb tu kite tgk sape jln senget..
is: okok set..
me: 1, 2, 3.. GO!

and i took a video of it. must upload to youtube first la huh.

DG brought nurell home.. wat luck. tat's the ex bf she was crying abt. and she was hugging the lamp post for dear life not wanting to go home with him and was crying for me.. hurhur.. sadness

in the cab...

am: wak.. kite nak balek...
me: nanti la.. we go eat first..
am: wak.. kite nak g mane nie? geylang eh? pergi pangkeng?
me: (slaps forehead) no.. we're gg to hakim's.
am: wak suro teksi driver jalan pass queensway..lagik dekat..
me: okay..
am: (leaned close) wak.. kite sayang awak tau..so sweet la.
me: (smiles) heh. kite tau..

at hakim's...

is: eh bile mase kite sampai?
me: dari tadik la biol..
is: kite kat mane ni? mcm kat serangoon je..
me: kite kat brunei la..
is: brunei ade church ke?
me: uhm..
bitch: of course la..

btw are there churches in brunei? anyone...?

tawel: kite kat mane nie?
bitch: kite kat johor..
tawel: (whining) aku nak balek.. aku takde passport
bitch: ah nanti kite balek la..
tawel: (slurps prata curry with A STRAW!! YES A STRAW!!) eh asal burbourn ni rase lain..
me: eh ape kau nye fav food huh?
tawel: long john...
me: (pours coke into curry sauce) nah.. ni long john.. makan la..
bitch: nah eat it.. it's clam chowder.. (gave straw to tawel)
tawel: tanak.. tanak..
me: makan je la..
tawel: (unwillingly slurps it) eh asal masin nah?
me and bitch: wahahhaahhahahahahahhahhahha

part two to be advised. i wanna go catch some sleep now..

love..
i rather have ur warmth in a hug and indulge in ur gaze.no words exchanged just silence embraced. <3

system down.

2006-04-14T21:26:00.000+08:00

argh!!! my comp is terminally ill. the viruses are attacking!! its.. gonna.. die.. soon.. and i cant read my damn flashbox la!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. i think its an intended aggravation. everything everyone is driving me to my grave.. i said dun push me right!? cant u see m walking to the damn cemetary to bury myself? have patience will ya?? man.. such a slow death.

m pissed off i tell ya.
m pissed off i tell ya again.
m pissed off i tell that person.
m effing pissed off~!

*chokes him to death*

now.. i have company in my grave. wouldnt be so lonely, afterall...

exploring alkaff

2006-04-13T05:16:00.000+08:00

the foursome went burning leaves like no ones business at telok blangah hill park. then we headed to alkaff mansion but all the entrance were locked. but we managed to climb into the dilapidated white mansion.. we walked around the foyer and decided to make a comeback tmw, the reason being lack of proper gear. so we went out tru the main entrance and i tell you it was much more difficult getting out than in. i tripped on my steps at the fence and was hanging like a monkey.. damnit. now my hands are sore.. anyway we headed back to the pond and puff away.. i noticed something at the tree branch but i realised it was just a figment of my imagination. m not the superstitious sort.. so who cares?! i need a sleep now. toodles noodles.

im not wonder woman, n bitch's not batman

2006-04-11T08:18:00.000+08:00

went for a jog today with the personal instructor. afterwards called nisa hp and to my surprise she was in the ambulance. belo girl hurt her neck and head. so fine i informed the mother n got the 'privellege' to listen to her mom's nagging. cut the story short, after listening to Nisa's sobs i relented and asked bacin to send me to cgh, yes fucking cgh, to accompany tat kecik. and bitch tag along.. ooohh miss my bacin! still as adorable as ever! so tempted to wrestle him down and pinch the daylights out of him.

so anyway, reached cgh at 4am.. the nurses were reluctant to let us stay for long. but we stayed there till 6.30. huahuahua. played daidee and cracked stupid jokes. we stole her neck brace and brought it home. yes we did! the senior nurse i presumed, chased us out and nisa spat vulgarities at her face.

"im the patient here, so inconsiderate.."

"this is so fucking lame...!"

the nurse replied, "no this is not lame, this is the hospital rules and as long as u are a patient here i am responsible for you."

nisa: "i cant believe they hire such ppl to become nurses.."

we have a winner!
i cld have sworn her nostrils flared like a giant cave.. bah! stupid ppl. you go girl!!!

sadness, nisa was crying her heart out. wanted to go home but her dad reprimanded her for being so impatient. and godd she asked us to go to her place and get her damn charger cuz her phone batt was very low. and she wanted it immediately!!! ingat aku ape, wonder woman pe.

bitch: "die ingat aku batman per.. can fly to and fro changi.. mmg cgh blakang ice box rumah aku."

wonder woman and batman wants nisa dead now. we're super exhausted.. give that phone a rest la! no really..

p.s. woohoo! my baby got a promotion~ ooh lala.

paisey

2006-04-10T00:13:00.000+08:00

for some reason i told my elder brother i loved him. *fainted* malu ok. im gonna miss him when he's gone.. wedding is just like in Aug. all the best bro. cant wait to carry my future nieces or nephews on the way.

somewhere in the future

Me: My my, so cute ah.. can i carry her please?
Bro: (thrusts baby into my arms) Okay.. (walks away)
Me: Fuck.. u're so adorable.. (pinches baby) i cant stand it!!! GRRRRRR... (throws baby in the air. loud thud)
Bro: Aiyak!!!! My baby!!!
Me: Where? What? I dunno anythg.. (note: partially deaf)

My kids are sooo dead.

horoscope

2006-04-07T18:39:00.000+08:00

ok so this is me.MARCH BABY Attractive personality. sexy.ahem! Affectionate Shy and reserved. only at first meeting wat Secretive. by that i mean m a pro in keeping secrets,haha Naturally honest,you bet la! generous i can be stingy at times and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. once in a blue moon Great kisser. ahh,*blush* Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings sometimes. Observant and assesses others.watch out!and this is him

JULY BABY Fun to be with.yes Secretive.yes Difficult to fathom and to be understood.yes Quiet unless excited or tensed. yes Takes pride in oneself. yes Has reputation. yesEasily consoled.yes Honest. yes Concerned about people's feelings. very Tactful. yes Friendly. is but he has tat stern look Approachable.yes Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. yes Moody and easily hurt. the face says it all Witty and sparkly. eh are u talking abt darlie here? spazzy at times. are you talking abt me?? Not revengeful. correct Forgiving but never forgets. yes dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. uhuhGuides others physically and mentally.went joggin with him. haha. fuckin motivator sensitive and forms impressions carefully. yes Caring and loving. eh brape byk yes da!! malas aku nak type lagikTreats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.hmm. so it is very scary for a person like me to have a very rooted bf. m very used to alot of drama in my life.

let's recap the dramas.
- the obsessive ex episode
- the chain debacle
- the almost got fucked by jerks twice episode
- the taufiq illness episode
- the taufiq met with an accident and got chickenpox episode
- the taufiq got relapse episode
- the taufiq parents bought jewellery for our engagement which never happened
- the i almost caught taufiq with another girl episode
- the taufiq had enough of my 'nonsense' episode
- the syafa revamption
- the syafa became pious episode
- the syafa totally changed episode
- the big discovery
- the taufiq begging syafa to return to him episode
- the taufiq threatened to kill syafa's other love, tiger, by putting him to sleep
- the syafa who naively went over to see his cat for the 'last time'
- the syafa found an old flame episode
- the sms incident which caused a fight btwn me and Am
- the taufiq came over countlessly and wanted to die episode
- the ex tried to break us up episode

the soap opera of my life. no wonder it's scary to have a rooted boyfriend. goddamnit. it's true what bitch said, watching my life shd be completed with popcorns and coke.

painful memories

2006-04-07T07:35:00.000+08:00

i rmb the first time i met tiger. immediately i fell in love with him. tat fatty bom. he seen me go tru all ups and downs in that house. then there's my lovely parents. pakcik n makcik. how well they pampered me and took care of me. i miss them so much.. i was reminded i guess. i called makcik a couple of times.. just to hear her voice. i wanted to tell her how much i miss her.. but i was too ashamed that i hung up soon after. why was i ashamed? indeed the one who ruined it all was their son.. but i felt ashamed because i neglected them.. the very one who took care of me. god knows how much i love them.. i m tearing right now as m typing this. it's been over 2 months i never visit them, yet it feels like 2 years. mmg ade hikmah disebalik ini.. but wat blessing is it when m missing them so terribly every day?? my fingers ached to dial the number. i kept on blaming myself.. telling myself that they hate me for leaving them just like tat.. n i miss tat tiger.. he was the one who comforted me when i was crying in his room. he was the one who accompanied me and slept by my side everytime i slept over. indeed they are not my real family. but who are we to decide blood makes family? they accepted me as their daughter and took great care of me, guide me as though i was one of theirs. and tat fat cat was always making noises when i fought with him; tiger was always by my side.

dear god, pls watch over them. i pray for their safety and good health, not forgetting happiness. my heart truly yearns for them. a part of me is lost. may we reunite one day mom and dad. i love you so much.

syafa, stop these tears.. its not gonna make them come back. pls stop crying..

nice eyebrows

2006-04-06T09:07:00.000+08:00

cant slp. need... to.... kill... someone....

decided to play ard with v editor. such nice eyebrows i've got..

this is me a good half hour ago stonin in front of e pc.

nw i hv the rocks infamous brow, elongated nostrils and the come fuck me pout.

i've got nothin better to do. so shoot me.

NEXT! (impersonate film directors..or watever)

okay.. this is a mutated human being caused by radiations from a nuclear bomb. gawdd. i obsessed excessively on that eyes have hill movie. heh. imagine tat. nuff said.

innocent bystander who was fiddling w the brother's bike

so here comes the radiation. i present u the mutilated. on the nose n back+butt! *guffaws*

hello hunchback. goodbye hunchback. hello hunchfront. what do you call it again? pregnant is it?

waa!roadkill!!! i think the baby's dead. run over her again.psst. just to be sure

bitch's not pregnant. i swear!!! not happy? i've proof la dey..
see? told you.

outrageous haircut

2006-04-06T06:48:00.000+08:00

rejuvenated man. went for a jog with boyfriend today.. introducing my new personal instructor. hehehe. such a hot bod he has. *drools* ok will stop lusting or i'll get horny early mornin.

adek cut my hair. a punk girl is reborn once again. same plc, corridor jadi sasaran. my fringe like a doll la tat bloody kotek! i was sulking and went to the stairs to puff away, pacifyin myself. after i cooled down i went back and demanded a recut. hey, customer is always right.. isnt it? hahahha. tat reminds me, we ordered 3 sets of mcwings at 1 in the morning and our fries were cold and hard..dammit. but dearest bitch of course saved us all but calling up the call centre to feedback. so we got ourselves another 3 medium fries. in total 6 medium fries gobbled down. huahuahua. i feel fat. waitamin, i jogged. so calories burnt. i love exercise~! :D

funken facts.

2006-04-05T00:49:00.000+08:00

Taken off Friendster bulletin.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)

(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour

(Don't try this at home,maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

("Kiss me baby..wtf?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

(Sluuuurp......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

(okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.

(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

( I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains

(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.

(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that pig??)

clarification here.. it's nt written by me ok.

mirreeerro

2006-04-04T16:21:00.000+08:00

at my corridor, adek n me chopped off bitch's long locks at 3am and ended at 6am. i sat on the sofa comfortably and caught adek in action. heh. this hairstyle is the first ever in Singapore for sure. we called it 'mirror image'. first it kinda look weird. i made some obscene gesture at her hair which resulted me and adek rolling around laughing on the floor. hehe. but in the end it turned out very very very niceeee. eh not sarcastic okay. this is how it looked like. my drawing sucks but who cares..

i love her hair. ok fine. i love my bitch too. anyway, adek broke up with the gf yday.wait, today.. and scoob's prolly on the way ah. ahahhahaha. mesti yakin nyer.. ok gtg. need to fetch boyfriend from his workplc. toodles~!

ps: hmm. i love hatemsgs or watever it is. they build up my confidence u see, cuz with them i wld go "wow, i must be something because there are ppl out there who even bother to hate me". lol.lol.lol.lol.i love yoooo all haters! spam me pls!

WARNING!
EGO EXPANDING BEYOND CRITICAL LIMIT!

2006-04-03T18:06:00.000+08:00

i realised the only refuge i have is here.

argh~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate feelin this way. do you know? you were too busy.
stop thinkin abt it syafa, please stop. its not worth feeling down right now. not now. not when ure so blessed. don't go back to that hellhole please. see the brighter picture pls.

He handed me two different things in each of his palm. Drugs in one, chocolates in another.
I kept on reachin out for the drugs.. a certain force pulled me back. My senses.
My mother always taught me, chocs are way better to indulge on. Drugs ruin lives. Yet, albeit the side-effects i still yearn for the drugs while i chew on my chocolates. "Chocolates make me fat," i said. Drugs can give me heaven and that body i want..

A voice out of nowhere boomed, "Look at yourself! Look at the destruction it(drugs) caused not only to you,but your friends and family suffered too!! " I wailed like a toddler throwin a temper because mummy and daddy did not buy him his toy. I sobbed uncontrollably and and my body shivered as i craved for Nasty Drugs. It's within my reach, just a phonecall away, a few buttons to push, a few words to say..

"NO!!!!"

As much as i want you, god forbids. He gave me those that i needed the most.

2006-04-02T18:48:00.000+08:00

wohooo! I, (full name here), am happy to announce that i am employed! finally. m super duper exhilirated! *pendulum dance*

devil's bar! here i come baby~ gonna work there as a part tym cashier, thanks to my beloved sis Fidzah. owe that girl so much. no more calling out to my mom for cash. this is it. a new yet old owl is born to the nightlife. huahuahua.

*evil laughters*

the great birth

2006-04-01T15:09:00.000+08:00

i gave birth last night to a healthy baby girl. pictures of the process below! *WARNING! MATURE 21 CONTENTS! BE PREPARED TO FEAST YOUR EYES!

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hey dun touch my pussy!

exercise helps dear..

i'm cummin, i'm cummin!

kidds!get to know ur sibling otw

ahh! my nipples are getting large..

wtfish u doin woman?

baah!!it hurts! @$#%%#%

ok the head's coming out now..

push push push

mummy!!!help!

cummon syafa! push!!

the head's out alrd!

last push!!!

phew..finally.

hey wat you doing down there??!?!

tat's 9 months full of period!

snip!snip!

ahh..isnt she cute.. my baby.

_End_

not another!!

2006-04-01T14:48:00.000+08:00

received a phone call when i woke up.. so the lady called me. asked for the appeal form yada2. and u know wat??? m supposed to wait till early next week for her to give me the damn result! *screams at top of lungs* knn. somehow i don wanna go to school. rmb tat first feeling when u're sent to nursery and u wailed so loud cuz u dowana be apart from ur family and just wanna stay home and play with your own toys? yea.. its dejavu all over again. i wanna stay at home, leech my parents wallet and party every weekend!! yeah! cool huh.. the absolute life of doing ~~nothing~~.

dreaded wait.

2006-03-31T21:31:00.000+08:00

argh!!! funkendoodle! *slams keyboard*

i sent up an email to the admission department of Singapore Poly regarding my appeal result.

To: Admissions@sp.edu.sg
cc:
Subject: Appeal result
Hi I wld like to enquire regarding the result for appeal of courses. I made an appeal on the 6th March 2006, Monday. I was told to check for the results on the schools' website respectively at the end of the month. How come there are no notices whatsoever regarding the appeal result for Singapore Polytechnic? I would hope to get a reply regardin this matter soon. Thank you.

To: cantankerous_biatch@hotmail.com
cc:
Subject: RE:Appeal Result
I refer to your email enquiry.
Please provide the following details:
Name, NRIC, Course Appeal for.
Thank you.

Yours sincerely
Norida
for Admissions Officer

Another day of waiting. I hate waiting~!!! *wails* Double murder!

2006-03-31T17:45:00.000+08:00

i just woke up. hey i din rub my eyes k baby! you said its bad for the eyes...explain to me abt it one fine day yeah.

i had the most ridiculous dream ever!
dream 1- characters: simon, me, bitch, am, and a car
location - cross breed of ecp expressway and sentosa main entrance lookalike, heading towards esplanade apparently
storyline - okay simon was driving his car at some kampung at first then somehow we managed to end up on the expressway heading towards esplanade. heh. and suddenly we became spies and i carried the car on my BACK LIKE A BAGPACK!!wahhahahahahaa. stupid.

abt the second dream, i can vaguely recall it but i have absolutely no mood to blog abt it. all because of the stupid appeal result. damn.. i tot sp is supposed to put up some kind of notice on the web? bah.. feeling down man. sadness.. cant even view the damn appeal result. kill me pls.

abuse on the weaker sex.

2006-03-31T01:31:00.000+08:00

i always somehow imagined that whenever i feel the need to relieve my full bladder, eating more wld lessen the urge. i thought that the amount of food in my stomach will suck up all the liquid in the bladder to aid in digestion and also prevent dehydration. tell me i'm wrong. ok you don't have to.. i know m wrong.

well introducing my newfound obsession, the hott mannequin sensation. i love trying on clothes for sure..but this is window shopping at its best. not only do i get to try on clothes, i get people to put it on for me and do some crazy pose. oh, heaven lollipops! though hopefully i wont have my sense of touch otherwise if some nasty retail assistant try to get hanky panky with me i wld feel so dirty. hah! it definitely is a good pre-emptive effort against molesters or rapists. not only that, it doubles as a form of contraception. imagine a pregnant mannequin! that'll be the day...

i digress too much. what i want to talk about today is regarding the topic "abuse". there are many forms of abuse be it emotional, mental, physical, social(got ah?), self abuse.. today, Dr. Syafa Ferrari spur of the moment la will touch on physical abuse towards spouse, siblings, children, girlfriends, aunties, ice cream man and parents.

do you know of anyone who is in an abusive relationship? i do. her name is ~~shahrazad~~ siti. her boyfriend is a good for nothing who loves beating the crap out of her cuz it gives him an orgasm. Siti, on the other hand, loves the man for his money. wait.. why was this a problem again? bah. anyway, if you hear screams for help next door, just call 999. you wouldnt wanna find a dead corpse next week anyway. option 2 is always available for ppl who prefer not to poke into others' lives=blog about it..don't conceal their names or addresses. maybe the blog police can help. just maybe.

Facts: *Did you know that in US alone, an entire population of Singapore 4 fucking million women are being abused every 9sec?

Practically every male/female in Singapore are being abused every 9 secs. Imagine walking around town area or ulu places, wherever la.. seeing everyone get beaten the crap out of them for 9 secs and they take turn to beat the fella who just beat the crap out of them for the next 9 secs?

Wat a vicious ~~sight~~ cycle..

*Derived from Oprah.

living in denial

2006-03-30T01:48:00.000+08:00

it is history. but i need to let it out.

i cant tolerate girls in denial. yes, we all do that sometimes but the kind of denial i am referring to is the kind where a guy alrd dumped you few months ago and you still act as though you are in a relationship with him. Well it is none of my concern really, but not when the guy in question is my boyfriend.

it tickled me to see her post up a picture of them together, him, him, and more of him in her friendster account. last logged off=24hrs. friendster indeed created miracles. it is not gonna make me jealous or irritated. just humoured. to think she has the cheek to use her friends to add me on Friendster and view my profile. For what huh?

The funnier part was when she actually mentioned, ''i'll be contented once i know that you are fine. i just want you to be happy, that's all.'' *circle light hover above head*
*cough*

It's like a girl saying, "i'll be happy as long as you're happy" or (quoted from another ex-gf of his, under favourite movies) "whatever my darling suke i pon suke", trans: whatever my darling likes, i also like.

FUCK. *knocks self onto wall head first*

Don't they like, have fucking brains in their heads? Or their heads are just too puny to fit one in? I hate brainless girls who are without character at all. Reminded me of the robots in Star Wars. Maybe in the 60s if you said that to ur partner it wld sound kinda sweet. But now? brrrrr. U just sound witless.

Come on, do you really feel happy if your other half is happy doing his thing you totally object/despise? Do you seriously feel happy to see your loved one happy with some other girl, not to mention the girl is a bitch called Syafa? I mean, seriously?!

OI! Brain-dead is it? Cannot think for yourself ah? He has moved on. You shd too. Stop living in denial. He's not the only ~~dick~~ guy in Singapore you know. Many more out there. My heart goes out to you Ifah. Yes, you may wear a tudung and all. Many wld jump to your defence, instead of me, cuz you project the weaker species' (of women) image. To me, tudung or no tudung, tattoo or no tattoo, ppl are all the same. And I may be bombarded with atomic bombs all the way from Japan for all i care, telling me i shd give you respect cuz u wear a bloody headscarf. Sorry, nothing will change my stand on this matter.

You did not, I repeat, did not give me a single respect for you intrude my life and my bf's life almost every other day. I will not sit down quietly and do nothing about it. It has become my life now, my business, for any girls who call my bf's cellphone, it is my concern. I have every right to this matter cuz by being his gf, i m placed in the picture. Get that in your head.

Oh yes, i bitched about my bf. So what? Everyone else too bitched abt their mothers, fathers, boyfriends, girlfriends, aunties, uncles, friends, enemies on their blogs. Besides, he does not read my blog anyway, so who cares. Even if he does, he wldnt take it too hard yeah dear? M not dissing you la. Just those annoying parasites still living on Earth.

In fact, the best part of it all is.. no one* reads my blog! Muahahahhahaha.

*Just a few people only la. Bah.. dun have to be so upset right that i treat you like you're invisible...

worst than a revolting garlic kiss

2006-03-30T00:15:00.000+08:00

waaaa! so rejuvenated from that midnight steamy hott kiss..
hmm. received quite a number of compliments abt my display pics. muahahaha. what can i say. m the paint editor queen!

nice right? yeah.. i love it too. hurhur.
anyways, somehow i decided to type in 'kiss' on yahoo search toolbar. i found the most disgusting kiss ever! look at this grotesque thing! look at this!! *runs to the toilet bowl to puke*

is it just me or does the guy have tits? and his HANDS! OMFG!!! are those feet or hands? he looks like the cross-breed of arnold swatchanigger (i dunno hw to spell his name) and the apek at kopitiams. and look at the woman! she's an insult to transsexuals around the whole world. those tits are just revolting. whoever painted this atrocity ought to be emasculated and his dead junior to be minced and fed to cannibal cows! holy crap!

bah.

what was he/she thinking? hmmmm. *dig nose

singapore blogger

2006-03-29T17:04:00.000+08:00

Congratulations syafa, you are...

'Xia Xue' Wendy Cheng of xiaxue.blogspot.com

You are a goddess/god. You've got the looks, the brains and the body. You have such an irreverent sense of humour, people listen to you religiously and worship the ground you walk on. On the other hand you can also be straightforward, blunt and very very controversial. That has the potential to offend many people, but of course you don't care, you just shoot. In the end, people either love you or hate you. Nothing in between.

Which Singaporean Blogger Are You?

ahakz! xia xue eh. abit over sometimes but i like her...entries. ok fine. her also la.. m getting hooked on kennysia.com now. his balls sure are big~!

the narcissistic kiss

2006-03-29T04:29:00.000+08:00

i spent the last countless hours editing my photo. tried to gave that clonin effect. and excuse me, no photoshop was involved! just plain ol paint. with the help of some useless unfunctional vcw editor for some other pics. damn its good! krekrerke

1st try. not so bad.

wahaaa.alien shit.

chalky effect!

after exhausting my patience on the masterpiece.. finally my fav one of all.. voila!!!

simply beautiful!

ok bias review, but who cares! most of the ppl i know are narcissist in a way. muaahahhaaha.

i love myself!!!

who's viewed my profile

2006-03-28T17:20:00.000+08:00

godness. my profile viewed soared sky high this month. hurhur. 1202* views. tats alot. got ntg to do so i viewed those who viewed me. kinda pissed me off when they ask, so..which one is you?

i feel insulted at times. like wat if m the one on the right(thats fiq btw.no offence girl)? wtf right. dun fuckin judge ppl by the looks la.. or boobs for that matter. i just love this pic cuz for the first time she looks intellectual and tat's reli funny. :D

my mind blanked. cant think of anythg to blog about. hmmm. ouh yes, came across friends of mine who has kids of their own alrd. abt 4 of em? 3 girls n 1 guy. yep. kinda envy em. they found their purpose in life already, whereas m still searching for it. what i mean is having a family completes them. to see ur lil ones running around smiling give you the kind of strength to live. early marriages are not so bad afterall. emotional fulfilment i'd say. but too bad la, enjoying days are over. fortunate if u think of it the other way ard. they wont screw up more.

moral of story, hmm. wat is it again? oh, i love babies!

*updated cuz m a freak in the counts!

birthday boo

2006-03-27T13:10:00.000+08:00

this is a post to remind myself and a few others, how my bday went. warning,long entry.

i must apologize to simon. my dear beloved simon.. arrgh. nv meant to throw up a tantrum. i promise no more of it. i SWEAR! damn, i nv actually get to dance much. phunk's bar alright. crowd is so cool, no matreps at all. mostly blacks and those hip-hoppers wannabe. i pray so hard the malay crowd wont increase. me and the gang will make a comeback next mth.

i din know what came over me. totally intoxicated with alcohol. 2 jugs full got me in no control of myself. m sorry baby, m sorry. u were right by my side yet i let my feelings get ahead of me. i needed the last cry. im so over it now. and thank you for taking care of me and got ur shirt, jeans and shoes filled with puke. regardless of pukes u have to withstand, i know u'll be there for me always. hehehehe.

ok syafa, u're crapping!

HAHHAHHAHAH. CAN U BELIEVE IT???! MY DEAR ACTUALLY TOT TAT MITCH IS A FUCKIN BANGLA!!!!! WAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA.

kesian mitch hameed. bangla sesat. and that bloody mitch, as i was told, just stared at the drunk me all the way which aggravated my bf. at tat point of time they weren't properly introduced yet... bf almost asked him to fuck off but fortunately before anything bad happened that bangla mitch called out to simon. so bf immediately acknowledge him. lucky bastard. how i wished my bf just beat the crap out of you, scum of all men. so what if u fuckin have a big horse dick? (ok need to make myself clear, i've never seen it but i cld except that i was pissed drunk. heard from a reliable source though, haha)

i love simon though!he's my abang.. hehe. he's the kind of MAN woman wld fall for, charming teacher you! too bad u're way older than me. hahaha. good luck to ur hot pilipinas bebeh.

back to the topic, i was hitting everyone i passed and bitch was having a hell of a time apologizing to em. bad syafa, bad girl. some details will not be posted here to spare myself some embarrassment. hah! those kambingz brought me home, and we took a cabby who's a freaking malay uncle!! my my. *slaps forehead* so they let me sleep at fiq's void deck, which is just next to mine, and my heart goes out to him. he actually took off his shirt and used it to cover my holy banaley exposed under mini skirt. haha.well no one was looking anw. and he even went to steal someone's fresh laundry to use it to clean my puke. hurhur. naughty naughty. m such a nuisance! godness.

the fuctup part was that these two idiots ordered mcdonalds and ate happily, sang a birthday song to me when m blacked out and RECORDED a video of it. i rmb in the club itself telling him i was hungry but no, he din even bother to feed me when there was food ard. ok fine i was knocked out but just stuff the damn food into my mouth n i'll chew la!

went home, got fucked up by my bro. he din let me sleep. damn! ok so he told me to go take a shower first. and eventually let me go to bed. owe it to him.. urgh. special sour bday. and baby told me tat ppl regardless of how strong of a drinker they are, always get drunk on their bday. like duh.

party-pooper

intoxicated sinners

2006-03-27T12:44:00.000+08:00

this is what happens when u drink too much. look at tat ugly face! muahahaha. i din drink btw. just big gulp of grape and sprite. heehe.

my my, ~~sinners~~ we are.

vicious cycle cibai

2006-03-25T19:26:00.000+08:00

toxins.
the harm they do to our human bodies.
i cant stand ppl who just so-called seek "salvation" in booze, fags, drugs.
wait, more of i cant understand and dun wish to understand.

albeit the contradiction, i have my limits. i do not drown my sorrows in daily booze of chain-smoking. yes i smoke, but only socially. yes i booze, only when in clubs which is once every 6 months average?

i have sins plastered onto my naked body.
the soul i have once cleansed, stained again now.
one vicious cycle.

one ~~broken~~ soul.... revived

i have no complains in life right now. i feel complete for the very first time. finally i broke free, against all odds. i thought he would come and haunt me, pull me hard and shatter me into a million pieces over again.

god gave someone to me. to pull me away from you. to love me. to care for me a hundredth better than you. to sincerely stand by me. to protect me from you.
he's the greatest gift.

in the darkest moments he found me
comforted me, put a smile on my heart
laughters bubbled out my mouth
the storm has ended.
m sweeping off the ruins.
deleting you in my life.
just another haunting memory
just another.
i might breakdown, i might remember
i might give up
but he will be strong and pull me up when m on my knees
crying and begging
unlike you, he is here wit me
always will be here wit me,
in me.

name calling

2006-03-24T19:46:00.000+08:00

i ought to be shot to death by a firing squad.
guilty, i plead.

okay this has happened not only once, twice or thrice but countless tym!
my bf is soo gg to kill me.
on many occasion when he shared with me abt his day or some other stuff, i never failed to blank out and drift to my own dream world. not that i do it on purpose, it just happened. he wasn't boring at all and the conversations we had were pretty much interesting. i dunno when this phenomena engulfed me. i felt bad afterwards. lol.

phone calls are the root of it, especially when m on the comp. many can vouch for it, for this behaviour has arguments in its list of archives. :P

god must have blessed me, i managed to conceal it well from dearest boyfriend.

talking of boyfriends...

hey has it ever occurred to u that regardless of age, women/ladies/girls call their partner boyfriend? like as in BOYfriend? imagine an aging widow who met a second love after the death of her spouse, introducing to her family or children/grandchildren her boy-friend who's like 70 80 yrs old? why cant they say, he's my man friend or grandpapa lover cuz obviously this guy aint a boy but a man (most likely a grandparent too)...?

turn the tables around to the creature of Venus.
MALAY DATUK (malay for grandfather): hey pak mat, this is my nenek-friend. (lame attempt)

MAN: hey jack, this is Lisa, my woman-friend.

BOY: hey guys, meet Lisa, my girl-friend.

boys are victorious this time round, i'd say.
but still.. pls dun go around doing wat the man/mly datuk did. it sounds wrong.. urgh.

privellege

2006-03-24T00:29:00.000+08:00

congrats to dearest for being posted to some not to be named place as an instructor.

picked among the best in the fit squad for this position. m so proud of him, yet he felt a bit sour. cuz its further than his work place and he complained abt the deficiency of good food.

so you see what we have in common eh? you named it. FOOD. :D

encouraged him to be fair and not to practise biasness against others. it is something for an NS men to be called sir by peers way older and experienced than you dear.. it might be nothing to others or they might just say, instructor so wat? well not everyone can get it and he's the second ns men to be picked for this. call him names whatever, jealous is all others can be.

m so proud of you dear. keep up the good work.

how i envy him. i'd say i have by far accomplished nothing yet in my life. to get into poly itself is a struggle. yes my dreams may reach sky high, but i know nothing in this world is impossible. almost nothing. my greatest dream is to be a SOMEBODY, not just anybody, but SOMEBODY. to make myself proud, to make momma proud, to make abglong proud, ayah proud.

be it academically, or anything else. I HAVE A DREAM TO BECOME A SOMEBODY.

I HAVE A DREAM. DO YOU? START DREAMING NOW. NOTHIN IS TOO OUT OF REACH, KIDS. START DREAMING TODAY!

god, so commercialized. haha. who the fuck will read all these anyway except for fiq. so fiq!! DREAM GIRL.

restart

2006-03-23T18:47:00.000+08:00

damn. something went wrong with my new skin i tried to use. well this one is just temp. it's pretty but m not relli satisfied with this one. heehe. neways m off to play pool wit him and frens. updates later.

ruins of me

2006-03-22T17:04:00.000+08:00

do i have to go through life like this?
everyday i have to smell you, hear you, read you.
a new day i take only to be reminded.
a bloodsucking leech!
i want you out.

ur sad pathetic stories are ur own destruction.
you no longer proved any pain, but mere irritant.
memories most painful almost impossible to erase
the trauma u dumped me in
abandoning me with only claustrophobia

i've come this far, i will prevail.
watch me.

case of the ex

2006-03-21T15:54:00.000+08:00

shame boycotted you. pure evil resided in you.
disappointing. *shakes head*

taufiq... taufiq...

NO. you'll never get pity from me or anyone else around you that is. you made ur own life so fuct up. sickness is not a bait. why wont you just realise that feeling sorry for urself is just pathetic?

deceptions were made by you. u just attracted hate. friends left you because they know better than to give in to your scams. stop living life with a facade. live it proper! be human, please.

happily blabbering on msn.. i halted to a stop. i burst out laughing as tears rolled down my cheek. who the hell does he think he is??

fren: maybe because he and your bro same baju?

fren: dia pernah ckp dulu dia main design blackjack. but not anymore.

me: !!!!!!??!?!?!?!

fren: but i dunno if its true or not.

me: dia nak carik pasal per dgn my bro??! waaahahhahahhahahhahahahhah. god help me.

me: ~~suro dia isap konek sendiri dulu la!~~

so you told your friends that my bro and you were quite close. bloody mat!
what do you think you're doing? my bro despised you. still does.

if you think that wld create fame and glory for you, you are WRONG. yes my bro does have a name for himself in the gangster world of singapore. i do not feel proud AT ALL about it. afterall it is his own accomplishment, not mine. so i wont tumpang gembira. but how could you make use of him? make use of his status to get ur frens go green with envy, for your craving of acceptance among them? i doubt that if they saw my bro that night, they'll prolly think you're a loser. but who cares? all of you are plain losers. pussies stamped on your forehead.

golddiggers. i should have known.

you lied to frens.
you lied to frens.
you lied to frens. x10000000 = frens gave up.

A: eh let's help him la.. he's in trouble/let's visit him la. he said he had an operation right??

B: eh kau giler kape!?!? tu taufiq la...!! he and his stories!!

p/s by now if you dont know the moral of the story, i label you intellectually slow. and fidzah, be wary of this guy. he will bite like no one's business.

reminisce

2006-03-21T01:24:00.000+08:00

the things crescentian do.

I ~~FUCKING~~ MISS CRESCENT!
help!

was talking to a senior of mine abt life and all that crap and as a crescentian, of course the main inevitable topic wld revolve ard crescent. i was telling her abt how much i missed crescent. fuck the bitches. m talkin abt fellow crescentian here.

i miss my scandal fana, dianasamdol, josh the enlightened spirit with hearty laughter, atiqah the kix, saritha the funny one, many more to mention...

oh girls.. where are you?

i miss the pendulum dances
the bursting laughters
shrieks in chaos
the snacks at mobil
skipping classes
heated debates
movies at town
gossips
bollywood soccer at jln besar stadium
crez awards
crescentian day
mass run
soccer with sir!!!
temp classrooms
fart spray on teachers butt.

memories memories.
i definitely recommend my lil jrs to go to crescent. they'll know the reason after graduation. thats the place they built up my character. minus all the inevitable crooked facade, it's the best place to be. call me biased wtv. to be a lady and leader of tmw...that's eternal.

my home. the place in my heart and memories.

banana pee

2006-03-16T18:53:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. i bet it taste like banana tea. wat species is this anyway? looks like mok.. wahaaaa

revenge of pamela anderson

2006-03-14T17:10:00.000+08:00

i was discriminated against just cuz i was well-endowed and malay! wtf. i rmb i was in a retail shop at harbourfront, level 3 i tell you. this shop was just next to the perfume shop you know. *evil*

dear was printing out pix from the kodak machine and it was being fixed by the store staff cuz it was faulty. so i had alot of time to move about and browse through that shop (which WAS my fav shop of all) lookin for the perfect top for my birthday outing. so i asked the lady politely if i could try on one of their tops, not noticing that it was discounted. she din allowed it cuz it was discounted, so okay i asked what abt the other ones, she agreed to let me try it on. so i picked out this lovely pink top i had alrd fallen in love with. she told me she was closing at 9pm, and the clock was pointing ten minutes to 9. i knew that i wasnt gonna take long and after trying it on for sure i will purchase it.

again, i asked her if i cld just try on one top. she asked which top was it, so i showed it to her.
frowning, she said NO. big NO N.O. i was like wat the fish.. she reasoned that the top is too small for me and cuz m well-endowed, it might stretch the top and the small sized ppl cannot wear it anymore. so wat?? you telling me that u only wanna sell it to small size ppl la?? so if i wear, it dun matter whether i liked it or not right cuz u only assume i have no money to buy your freaking clothes so ur stretched top wont be bought by ur smaller customer is it?

its funny you know. in my wardrobe there are smaller tops which i cld fit in perfectly without any problems. and her's is a bigger size than most in my wardrobe.

waaa. knn! she told me her shop don have any size for me and that maybe i shd try (pointing to some really ugly baggy top) that i shd try it on. imagine! an ugly unflattering top on MY BIRTHDAY?!?!?!?! URGH. i felt so insulted but i took deep breaths and told myself to pretend that it din happen. as she was talking to me, a group of chinese girls went in, about 3 or 4 and she welcomed them. it was 5 mins left to closing but she din utter a word to these girls. you have only 2 dressing room and YOU FREAKIN THINK THAT THEY WONT TAKE MORE THAN 5 MINS???!!! i know what you see in them, its your kind and you know their parents give them a whole lot of allowance to spend in ur freaking shop right? i cant stand ppl like you who are so biased. i mean cummon, i have money to spend in your shop but you simply drove me out cuz of my simple attire and cuz i have big boobs you don want all your top to be stretched by ppl like me for the smaller sized ppl wont be able to wear em.

oh gimme a break.

m gonna get all my well-endowed acquaintances to rush in your shop and wear all ur freaking tight tops. and i definitely without a say have boycotted your shop. sucky service!! damn you old woman. i hope you die in ur shop filled with loose stretched tops which will make you bankrupt!

die woman die!!!!

alot like love

2006-03-14T05:45:00.000+08:00

i've nv exactly liked any of my ex-bfs. when i was with them that is. well you may ask, how can you be with someone you don't like? i just happened to love that person i don't like. call it weird but that was how i felt.

i like Am alot... it's scary.

i've never actually liked and loved someone at the same time, if you know wat i mean. it's not at all complicated for me to dislike my then boyfriends, maybe because they always told me no dont do this dont do that and i hated those restrictions which was the main reason why i always felt like castrating them and dumped their butchered remains to cows (i should really stop my obsession with cows, well maybe donkeys). though it might not benefit me, but that's not the point.

what m saying is, this is weird (i said that alrd?). he's very funny (i love that in guys) and comforts me without doing anything but just by being himself. i feel so free with him, it amazes me. it's like m in a relationship with him but i dont feel held back at all like how most ppl complain that being in a relationship tie them down? yea, like that. perhaps this is the closest of all the no-strings-attached relationship i have. HONESTLY, i wldnt even want to have a NSA relationship. it's wayyy too scary for most girls, i believe. fine maybe just me.

and where was i? oh. and the beautiful thing of all, i get to be who i really am in front of him without a care in the world what he wld think of it. yes i was who i was when i was with my x, but he (it's safe to say that none) never got to see me all out. he never had the privellege of witnessing my crappy lame wacky self. you get wat i mean? golly. ok stupid syafa. cuz we started off as friends, as most ppl wld unanimously reasoned. like the saying: sometimes the best relationship often starts with great friendship?

but wait, we weren't really close as friends. more of acquaintances. hung out once in a blue moon. i cant figure it out though but i can only tell you that m loving every bit of us. *cross my heart and solemnly swear* :D

blogging is my ongoing refuge every since deli moved into my room. soliloquy in the cyber space never failed to calm me. period.

i can sleep now... finally.

a trip to IKEA

2006-03-13T00:04:00.000+08:00

a bargain! IKEA's sale-ing!! bought ourselves colored candles and traded. also bought myself a pillow plus nice nice comforter. mom's green with envy. huahuahua. was supposed to go bowling but SOMEBODY had to bubble us.. neways the lanes were all fully booked so we decided to detour to IKEA! i get hyper at the very mention of IKEA~! simply love that place. well today's the first anniv wit my dear. uhuhkz. dun even really bother much unless its the big 1. hurhurhur. as usual i became my lame wacky self. made stupid faces at him and with him. oh so wonderful life is. no no. facade's not even in my life now. everything's a bliss. pure bliss.

m thankful for everyday that i have to spend with my loved ones. m thankful for every food i eat and every breath i take. even the pleasure of water running down my body cleansing my soul. m thankful to Allah for this contentment of life. thank you.

his predictions

2006-03-12T02:42:00.000+08:00

fun.fun.fun.

this astrologer, obviously tourist and from India, interrupted my conversation aboard Sentosa shuttle, "you will buy new things and new clothes, your time has come." i was dumbfounded at his no hellos or excuse me. he said that three months from now, i'll be one very happy girl from then on.

WOW.

wow not cuz he's plain crazy as some souls might perceived, but it was a sinfully wonderful thing i experienced. to have a stranger wishing, ok not exactly, "predicting your future" is a wonderful moment. yes i am happy in life right now but to actually have at total stranger says it all to u is more heartwarming. i've been touched by an Indian astrologer angel. *beams*

so i tanned almost the entire time on the beach while mr cool decided to chuck himself under the inviting shades. my pupils felt like melting in that few hours. i dun look so fair now. woopeedoo.
:D
so today is my day to meet my friends: elfidz, noreen, suriya, fairooz, my cuz bam n nini, and some of those i sincerely forgotten the names. chouchou and me got a free ride on da sky tower! the wonders of having contacts. bam said he looked like my bro (wtf??!!!) and her colleague actually mistook him for taufik but to conceal her embarrassment she said, "eh u look like him from side view" (which is kinda true). he blushed like maddd. haha.

neways we wanted to catch the musical fountain show at 7.40pm but the gates were closed. lucky for us there were some kinda fire show put up by a group of malay, yes malay buskers, i think. what do you call fire-eating performers huh? cant exactly put my finger to it. hmmm. wait! (whispers) is it fire-eating performers? teehee. oh yea, i crapped abt the 'pop that booty' song'. made a funny dance move to mimick amin's bigfattyyucking sis dancing nigga style. chou² was bursting in tears. ok fine, din exactly bled tears but he was LOLing. waaaaa. so fun!!
knn la. i need to entertain the drunk duos at next block. nisa and fiq. crazy bitches.

\\\~~toodles

fine

2006-03-10T02:32:00.000+08:00

HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN'S SCORN

FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument
when
they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES

If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just
been given 5 more minutes to watch the game
before
helping around the house.

NOTHING

This is the calm before the storm. This means
"something," and you should be on your toes.
Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in
"Fine"

GO AHEAD

This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal
statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud
Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing here
and arguing with you over "Nothing".

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that
a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means
that she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your
mistake.

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or
faint. Just say you're welcome.

Oh, and before we forget ...

"Whatever"

...it's a woman's way of saying &!#@ YOU!

big juicy worm he has

2006-03-09T17:31:00.000+08:00

what's with murders on the rise in singapore anyway? started with the maids, hwang na, gunman at serangoon, nonoi, henderson stabbing.. my my.. what has singaporeans come to. could the high level of stress in the country contributed to these mass killings?
my safety felt slightly threatened though. maybe because of my stalkers. mindless psychos.
they claimed to know my home address. waaah. so scared. but i'd call them dumb you know. i mean if killing me really gives you pleasure and total satisfaction then you wldnt have to worry abt spending ur remaining years in the cell right? it'll be the biggest accomplishment in ur life that u feel ur life has served its purpose. oh well, maybe you don think the way i do. :P

i feel really lucky now. to have someone love me with all his heart (exc. family love). golly. m in love. everytime i close my eyes it's his face that i see. *giggles* they said love makes ppl young. so wat. m 17+ now.. does it make me go 12? muahahaahaa. damn m lame. anw i recalled the lame jokes me n fiq made. chou² said his boxshorts can fit many chicks. yes literally chicken's offsprings, the chicks. so me and fiq suggested many lil ducklings and bam! fiq had typical grotesque idea. she was like, hey, what if the lil duckies and chickies went "ooh big juicy worm!! big juicy worm!!!" and ate his junior...? wahaaahaa. tat was corny. my stomach hurts. help!!

initial doubts

2006-03-08T03:18:00.000+08:00

viewed their profiles at friendster just now. a certain sadness evolved within. us felt somehow wrong, somehow a taboo. first there was this ex-gf for 3 yrs, who did sms him about how much she misses their so-called great sex life. funny when i heard about it, of course at that point of tym we werent well aware of each other's feelings. me and fiq unanimously agreed that she has hidden motives. and there's 6 months old ex-gf ifah who still very much loves him. only last week, she even showed up at the competition to show support for him. at times i felt that i was the bad one who took away her love. if not for me, he wld have forgave her and they'll be together again. but i was the hindrance to that wish of hers. a barricade. i stepped into his life after 6 bloody years of just watching from far. so near yet so far huh. literally we share the same roof, no he's not my brother. thats incest!! just the same hdb building.

i believe after thinking deeply abt this, he prolly share the same feelings as i do now. he might feel that he's ruining my happiness with he-who-shall-not-be-named x. sharks. stupid me. i wld tell him that me and x. are impossible to be together again cuz things are mere post-war debris. its too difficult to salvage the remains. think girl think! that's prolly how he feels too. sigh. i was talking to him abt some stuff and one way or another i mentioned the x. he shushed me almost immediately, and i realised that i made that mistake once again. i just cant help it in a way. 1.5yrs wit that someone i felt super special for, is just so hard to forget. everythg was just him, him, him and him. chouchou hurts bit by bit at the very mention.. x just ruined every hope, appetite and desire i had for love. i feel like a prognostic failure. my self-esteem disappeared, my happiness tainted. the only strength i get is from chouchou himself. he's a miracle, that'll be all i'd say. he makes me happy and laugh out loud without any effort, unlike x who tried so damn hard to please me. chouchou's my blessing. my strength. with him by my side, strongly i stand with my head up high. everyone else can just go and die.

clueless

2006-03-07T05:34:00.000+08:00

m feeling so farking drowsy. the cough syrup's effect is way too late isnt it? chouchou msg me. eh dun be sad la k dear. it's only a few days. i need some overdosing high to indulge in. yesssah! smoke marlboro menthol and fly!

when i was in italy, people called me the great marleyment. now in my hometown too few recognitiont. maybe i should migrate to australia and surf on smoke. yea, whatever.

updated: people have one of those lame weird days. this is mine. STOP LAUGHING AT ME!

hiatus that never happened

2006-03-07T03:13:00.000+08:00

a 5 day long hiatus awaits me. chouchou's gonna be real mad at me, and miss me alot at tat. my stomach's churning guilt. it's just tat m getting wayyy bored with gg out every damn day meetin the same peepz, not referrin to my chouchou. i feel tat a change wld be welcome. 5 days. just me and my hommies. *evil laughters*

bro's gg for reservist tmw, i think. finally. freeeee! wee. but it'll be shortlived trust me. he wont be gone for long. anyway i think my immune system is getting used to cough syrup. i use that to make me sleep and its not workin now. urgh. shitpot.

woopeedo. muflis dicap dahiku.
ingatlah wahai insan, tangan jangan sedap membazir jer.

anew

2006-03-06T02:35:00.000+08:00

after a year plus of plain unhappiness, my mouth finally carved a genuine smile. i am smiling now, satisfied with what life has presented itself to me. i was thinking to myself before i migrated to dreamland last night, how blessed i was that God was kind enough to His creation with those tiny little things that i have bestowed upon me. life sure is beautiful but we're too busy complaining than to see the compliments.

exhilaration blossoms this lucky soul. i emit more laughters than frowns.
i used to believe that the happiest people around you are those who are most troubled, but its not exactly accurate. i am laughing and smiling and crying tears of joys, deep beneath there's not a hint of melancholy residing in me.

i shall not shed a single tear anymore. i'm done and over with crying and being sad.
no one single soul can bring me down now.

i will not cry. :)

psst| i love my chuchu so much. 6 yrs of waiting is ALL WORTH IT.